Identity, or How I Learned to Balance on One Foot on a Small Piece of Earth

I was born female. I'm starting out on pretty firm ground. 
But girls aren't supposed to have short hair. 
Dig a circular hole around me.

I liked watching "The Smurfs" and "Scooby-Doo" and "The Dukes of Hazard" and "CHiPS" when I was a kid. 
But Indians have no claim to American 80s culture. 
Dig another hole.

I love Star Wars with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.
But Star Wars is for boys. 
Dig another hole.

I love books by Asimov, Herbert, Clarke, Bradbury. I liked Timothy Zahn's first Star Wars sequel books. I subscribed to Analog, Asimov's, and SF&F for years.
But hard science-fiction is not for liberals. 
Dig another hole.

I studied physics and astronomy. I love math. I have degrees in electrical engineering. I work in the tech sector where I'm often the only woman in the room.
But women don't like STEM fields. 
Dig the holes a little deeper.

I like to paint and draw and dance.
But engineers aren't creative. 
Dig the holes a little wider.

I like parties and books by Jane Austen and wine.
But that's not geeky. 
Dig them deeper still.

I've played Master of Orion and World of Warcraft, Halo and Portal, Pac-Man and Tetris.
But girls aren't gamers.
Dig them wider still.

I speak Tamil. I know how to wear a sari and cook sambar.
But that's not American. 
Turn the holes into pits.

I dated before marriage. I married a white man.
But that's not Indian. 
Turn the pits into craters.

I took his last name. I had his child.
But that's not feminist. 
Turn the craters into canyons.

I was happy to leave the child and go to work every day.
But that's not motherly. 
The canyons grow deeper.

I hate shopping. I like romantic comedies. I hate high heels. I love dressing up.
But that's not ... anything! 
The canyons look bottomless.

Now I'm standing on a tiny bit of land, enough to balance on one foot, and staring into the abyss. Everything that's part of who I am is falling away.

typedef void  ME;

So to all the lonely, sad [your identities here*] who are feeling marginalized right now, who feel like everything they believe in is being taken away, I have this to say: Guess what? 

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

But I am stronger than the abyss.
I can dance on foot and be who I am.
So can you.

And if we stand together, side by side, we'll find ourselves together on level ground, and we can stop shouting at each other across chasms.


*Possible examples:

  • white male nerd
  • gay conservative
  • geeky black woman
  • female atheist
  • LEGO-loving princess

Fantasy Flesh

No, not that kind of fantasy. I'm taking about the medieval fantasy fiction genre, and more specifically, as it applies to video games. How is it that in 2015 - after everything that's been written and said about the treatment of women in video games - we still end up with advertising images like this: 

Join me in a round of, "What's wrong with this picture." Here are some hints.

A. Who is not wearing a helmet?

B. Who is baring some seriously vulnerable organs (heart & lungs) as well as the throat?

C. Who isn't looking straight at you with a Stare of Doom?

Look, I'm glad that society is embracing the strong warrior woman. I love that women are free to explore and express their sexuality, and I believe they have every right to do so (and not fear for their safety - but that's a whole other topic).

But.

Why are we still fighting to be depicted in games (and movies) as warrior women who aren't sexy? The two don't have to go together. They are not related. At all. 

Has GamerGate taught the video game industry nothing? It's not always about the sexy sex! Maybe it is for some guys and girls, but a sizable portion of game players - of all genders - would like this to please stop. It's bad enough to have your game character in metal bikinis because of the awesome stats. At least let the advertising have some realism and uniform appeal.

Or, if you must sell with sex, let that hot rogue on the right show us some skin, too.